Ahhh...the joys of motherhood. I don't think I have slept 8 hours in 3 days. I'm sitting in a chair in the babies nursery listening to him sleep and updating my blog. I am so exhausted that I CAN'T sleep. I'm not sure where this energy is coming from, but it's bound to end soon. I haven't slept since 4am this morning.
I've had some mini-breakdowns. One yesterday after I had a lot of visitors. On top of that, Dr. Martin came in to circumcise Alex. It was great seeing her but there was so much commotion in the room that I really didn't get to talk with her or absorb what she was telling me. I need to call her on Monday to ask her what she told me.
Then Dr. Feld, the Pediatrician came in to check on Alex. It was calm then so we had a nice visit with him. Alex has a dimple at the base of his spine. We were told this when the nurses checked Alex right after birth. Dr. Feld's NP checked him and said it was closed and everything was fine. Thank God because that could have been Spina Bifida. We dodged a bullet there.
Then the picture lady came to take some newborn pictures of Alex. So all of that was going on while we had a room full of visitors. The pictures turned out beautifully though.
The the lady came to do the hearing test. He passed. Whew!
So then finally...finally...I had a moment of peace and quiet. My nurse came in and asked me how in the heck I handled all of that. As it turns out, I didn't. After my nurse left the room a lady brought in my lunch. I had ordered the roast turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy. I was so hungry. I opened the lid and there was NO GRAVY! What kind of southern establishement doesn't bring gravy with the mashed potatoes???? Well that was it. I lost it. I started crying hysterically. Everything hit me all at once and I just started crying and couldn't stop. Well a poor unsuspecting nurse came in to get something and noticed me crying. She asked me if I was okay and I said I was, I was just overwhelmed. She went and told my nurse and my nurse came back in to talk with me. She has four children of her own and knows how overwhelming it all is. She asked me if I intended to leave that night (Saturday). I told her yes and she said, "I'm not trying to tell you what to do or give you unsolicited advice, but I recommend that you stay tonight and let us help you". Well after that? I totally decided I wasn't ready to do this on my own at home. I decided to stay one more night and I'm so glad that I did. There were a few things I was able to do like feed him and change his nasty diaper all by myself. I learned a lot. I had sent my husband home for the night to try to get some real rest. One of us needed to rest at least. so I got some good experience and felt a lot more confident coming home today.
So here I am, midnight now. I had to take a break because Alex had pee'd up his back and was miserable. I got him changed, swaddled and he is now sitting with me as I type this. I hope to put him back in his crib soon so I can try to get some sleep. Wish me luck.
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